So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.