I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.