Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice