Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution