not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.