We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.