The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.