Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.