I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.