Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.