We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
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I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
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told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.