He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.