I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
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I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
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I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.