there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot