Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.