I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick