Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me