I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf