So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth