I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.