There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?