In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying