If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?