He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration