Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?