im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.