i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
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It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
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apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.