It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's official drugs can't kill me
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"