The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.