Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
