Texts From Last Night

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(856): View more from New Jersey

are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins

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(856): are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins http://tfl.nu/byok

Replies (16) Good night (3882) Bad night (1308)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.

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(978): You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober. http://tfl.nu/95jv

Replies (13) Good night (4046) Bad night (1192)
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(917): View more from New York City

Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.

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(917): Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick. http://tfl.nu/d1ac

Replies (21) Good night (5864) Bad night (1476)
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(925): View more from California

He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.

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(925): He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there. http://tfl.nu/tyej

Replies (14) Good night (4169) Bad night (1022)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there

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(774): im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there http://tfl.nu/wpso

Replies (8) Good night (4923) Bad night (1143)
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(631): View more from New York

Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk

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(631): Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk http://tfl.nu/bu5o

Replies (18) Good night (1121) Bad night (4760)
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(254): View more from Texas

I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.

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(254): I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night. http://tfl.nu/j8hi

Replies (27) Good night (4605) Bad night (1282)
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(208): View more from Idaho

She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.

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(208): She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again. http://tfl.nu/3vjv

Replies (15) Good night (1141) Bad night (5774)
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(561): View more from Florida

I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date

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(561): I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date http://tfl.nu/ynms

Replies (29) Good night (14732) Bad night (1421)
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(812): View more from Indiana

i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities

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(812): i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities http://tfl.nu/t8hr

Replies (7) Good night (5602) Bad night (1093)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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(973): when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/c6uc

Replies (17) Good night (1612) Bad night (4631)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.

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(402): i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night. http://tfl.nu/91q5

Replies (7) Good night (1014) Bad night (4876)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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(701): She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex. http://tfl.nu/crgk

Replies (63) Good night (22070) Bad night (1490)
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(714): View more from California

I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.

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(714): I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's. http://tfl.nu/jhuh

Replies (7) Good night (5365) Bad night (1143)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach

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(401): The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach http://tfl.nu/jjm1

Replies (11) Good night (4656) Bad night (1469)

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