Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
