Texts From Last Night

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(512): View more from Texas

Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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(512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo

Replies (13) Good night (5369) Bad night (548)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!

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(402): I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em! http://tfl.nu/ru3y

Replies (13) Good night (622) Bad night (5704)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

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(267): i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal http://tfl.nu/wd7r

Replies (18) Good night (1294) Bad night (3960)
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(734): View more from Michigan

you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..

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(734): you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy.. http://tfl.nu/5gkh

Replies (49) Good night (603) Bad night (5650)
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(720): View more from Colorado

By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."

(815): View more from Illinois

oh god.

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(720): By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer." (815): oh god. http://tfl.nu/0mg8

Replies (25) Good night (4687) Bad night (743)
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(719): View more from Colorado

just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?

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(719): just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am? http://tfl.nu/1xol

Replies (41) Good night (902) Bad night (4049)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived

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(603): dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived http://tfl.nu/mii6

Replies (16) Good night (4986) Bad night (535)
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(416): View more from Ontario

So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

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(416): So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying. http://tfl.nu/y4gl

Replies (91) Good night (1954) Bad night (9719)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

tonight, alcohol would be proud of us

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(778): tonight, alcohol would be proud of us http://tfl.nu/7h3d

Replies (10) Good night (4979) Bad night (583)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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(701): I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers. http://tfl.nu/q78w

Replies (9) Good night (3451) Bad night (619)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

bonus

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(501): So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked. (1-501): bonus http://tfl.nu/029j

Replies (20) Good night (4175) Bad night (493)
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(773): View more from Illinois

When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.

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(773): When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change. http://tfl.nu/eo5m

Replies (67) Good night (615) Bad night (5811)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.

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(551): 1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one. http://tfl.nu/vtrz

Replies (51) Good night (6037) Bad night (710)
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(207): View more from Maine

you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment

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(207): you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment http://tfl.nu/wssq

Replies (82) Good night (1172) Bad night (5447)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.

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(617): I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not. http://tfl.nu/e6fg

Replies (91) Good night (995) Bad night (7786)

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