Texts From Last Night

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.

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(580): That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything. http://tfl.nu/fbvq

Replies (77) Good night (2545) Bad night (4862)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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(507): and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person. http://tfl.nu/ixis

Replies (12) Good night (1139) Bad night (5991)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

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(704): you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/wl2h

Replies (12) Good night (1638) Bad night (3528)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

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(732): wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative! http://tfl.nu/b5c4

Replies (67) Good night (6881) Bad night (1022)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love

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(203): i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love http://tfl.nu/fb9k

Replies (4) Good night (3318) Bad night (630)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

You kept calling me your small dog last night.

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(201): You kept calling me your small dog last night. http://tfl.nu/02jw

Replies (6) Good night (840) Bad night (2863)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.

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(832): Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me. http://tfl.nu/ewf1

Replies (26) Good night (4165) Bad night (1054)
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(416): View more from Ontario

dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

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(416): dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening http://tfl.nu/ihge

Replies (12) Good night (7121) Bad night (627)
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(678): View more from Georgia

After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory

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(678): After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory http://tfl.nu/nm21

Replies (23) Good night (693) Bad night (5139)
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(216): View more from Ohio

There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.

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(216): There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself. http://tfl.nu/jj9y

Replies (23) Good night (1151) Bad night (3924)
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(214): View more from Texas

Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

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(214): Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again. http://tfl.nu/1vav

Replies (12) Good night (4406) Bad night (518)
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(917): View more from New York City

I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.

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(917): I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/wa98

Replies (26) Good night (6740) Bad night (773)
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(850): View more from Florida

I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.

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(850): I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math. http://tfl.nu/a930

Replies (68) Good night (5094) Bad night (752)
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(785): View more from Kansas

it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..

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(785): it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string.. http://tfl.nu/4pq8

Replies (28) Good night (663) Bad night (7235)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.

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(513): She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment. http://tfl.nu/tn42

Replies (25) Good night (1035) Bad night (4523)

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