Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next