Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??