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    (714): View more from California

    I need hand sanitizer and jesus.

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    Replies (15) Good night (1818) Bad night (2450) Order T-Shirt
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    (859): View more from Kentucky

    Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt

    (1-859): View more from Kentucky

    And?

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    Replies (37) Good night (3677) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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    (936): View more from Texas

    what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?

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    Replies (77) Good night (5268) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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    (702): View more from Nevada

    just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?

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    Replies (25) Good night (491) Bad night (3215) Order T-Shirt
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    (785): View more from Kansas

    If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up

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    Replies (9) Good night (884) Bad night (2727) Order T-Shirt
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    (760): View more from California

    i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped

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    Replies (54) Good night (3397) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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    (281): View more from Texas

    Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.

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    Replies (21) Good night (4163) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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    (501): View more from Arkansas

    My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.

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    Replies (18) Good night (951) Bad night (2116) Order T-Shirt
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    (619): View more from California

    3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.

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    Replies (20) Good night (2323) Bad night (696)
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    (762): View more from Georgia

    Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...

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    Replies (53) Good night (4575) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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    (530): View more from California

    So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant

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    Replies (17) Good night (3144) Bad night (631)
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    (214): View more from Texas

    Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

    (501): View more from Arkansas

    3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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    Replies (17) Good night (953) Bad night (2353)
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    (413): View more from Massachusetts

    I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited

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    Replies (31) Good night (7219) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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    (205): View more from Alabama

    what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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    Replies (38) Good night (599) Bad night (2831) Order T-Shirt
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    (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

    i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.

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    Replies (35) Good night (2590) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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