So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.