Texts From Last Night

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(714): View more from California

I need hand sanitizer and jesus.

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(714): I need hand sanitizer and jesus. http://tfl.nu/r3xx

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

And?

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(859): Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt (1-859): And? http://tfl.nu/z2de

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(936): View more from Texas

what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?

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(936): what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card? http://tfl.nu/bsy4

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(702): View more from Nevada

just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?

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(702): just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked? http://tfl.nu/yp0o

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(785): View more from Kansas

If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up

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(785): If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up http://tfl.nu/fktn

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(760): View more from California

i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped

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(760): i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped http://tfl.nu/yuxq

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(281): View more from Texas

Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.

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(281): Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body. http://tfl.nu/21yt

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(501): View more from Arkansas

My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.

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(501): My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog. http://tfl.nu/5h53

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(619): View more from California

3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.

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(619): 3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact. http://tfl.nu/7spk

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(762): View more from Georgia

Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...

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(762): Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once... http://tfl.nu/ks2u

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(530): View more from California

So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant

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(530): So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant http://tfl.nu/6mtv

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(214): View more from Texas

Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

(501): View more from Arkansas

3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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(214): Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life (501): 3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/1c46

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited

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(413): I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited http://tfl.nu/vv7z

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(205): View more from Alabama

what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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(205): what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/58rl

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.

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(902): i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots. http://tfl.nu/58kw

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