You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
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Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.