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lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
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