You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.