yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash