He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence