I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...