Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna