just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?