Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
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ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
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They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.