Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dating After Heartbreak
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.