He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.