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    (615): View more from Tennessee

    Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low

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    Replies (24) Good night (3188) Bad night (1304) Order T-Shirt
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    (315): View more from New York

    Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.

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    Replies (15) Good night (2659) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
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    (580): View more from Oklahoma

    White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.

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    Replies (32) Good night (4443) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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    (585): View more from New York

    This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.

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    Replies (4) Good night (3140) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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    (504): View more from Louisiana

    so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads

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    Replies (24) Good night (510) Bad night (6971) Order T-Shirt
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    (619): View more from California

    Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.

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    Replies (31) Good night (801) Bad night (7461) Order T-Shirt
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    (706): View more from Georgia

    Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.

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    Replies (9) Good night (5116) Bad night (851) Order T-Shirt
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    (978): View more from Massachusetts

    Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen

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    Replies (27) Good night (2533) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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    (908): View more from New Jersey

    The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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    Replies (5) Good night (4505) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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    (513): View more from Ohio

    Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?

    (1-513): View more from Ohio

    Every day of my life.

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    Replies (12) Good night (4539) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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    (310): View more from California

    we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again

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    Replies (36) Good night (3941) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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    (760): View more from California

    I wish they had nachos that got you drunk

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    Replies (17) Good night (4340) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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    (336): View more from North Carolina

    He asked me if I "almost moaned"

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    Replies (27) Good night (550) Bad night (4613) Order T-Shirt
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    (314): View more from Missouri

    So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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    Replies (16) Good night (842) Bad night (3401) Order T-Shirt
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    (905): View more from Toronto

    Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..

    (1-905): View more from Toronto

    With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.

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    Replies (34) Good night (19528) Bad night (2028)
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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