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Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
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