Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.