high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them