So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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