Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My life is pants optional.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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