Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
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If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven