If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.