Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not