hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.