Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really