the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?