It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
