why didn't you poke me back
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
