if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.