Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.