you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
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He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
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When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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