I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
