I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs