so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize