When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"