All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.