We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.