ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
