Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Send us your Text From Last Night!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
