If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME