She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?