you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.