I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here