What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Send us your Text From Last Night!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex