So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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