Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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