The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.