I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.