Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing